


See you never

by evak_nonstop (Nattergal), IrisSnonstop, Nattergal



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Clubbing, Denial of Feelings, Evak Endgame, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Graphic Description, Happy Ending, M/M, One Night Stands, Sexual Tension, fuckboys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:13:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 13,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24622186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nattergal/pseuds/evak_nonstop, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisSnonstop/pseuds/IrisSnonstop, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nattergal/pseuds/Nattergal
Summary: Dear reader,This is our first posting on AO3.This story, along with a bunch of other Evak stories, is also published in both norwegian and english on Instagram. Feel free to stop by our account evak_nonstop and take a look.Our concept and format is to portray small Evak moments. We never follow the story from A to Z and what happens before, between and after the chapters is free for the reader to imagine.We, at evak_nonstop, had planned a quiet early summer.That didn’t go to well!In the middle of the night, Nattergal got an idea for a new Evak story and served IrisS the prologue for breakfast🔥To make a long story short, we were both totally excited, so the story is written in no time and has snuck up to the top of our "posting queue".We sincerely hope that you will join us 🙏🏻❤️Btw English is not our native language, so bare with us 😉.We will be overjoyed if you leave a comment with your thoughts.It really motivates! ❤️Thank you so much for reading❤️Big hugsNattergal and IrisS.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 101
Kudos: 159





	1. Prolog

  
The beat of the bass thumps in my chest, the strobe light flashes feverishly. I move to the music, in what feels like slow motion.  
I feel hot, sweat running down my forehead, my neck, my back, my curly hair sticking to my face.  
He's behind me. The tall slim guy with the "James Dean" hair and delicious, full lips.  
I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of his big warm hands exploring my body.  
First on top of my shirt, then underneath.

His fingers slide over my abs, slowly, as if counting. Yeah, go ahead and count, I think to myself. I’m in possession of a fairly well-kept sixpack and I am not afraid to flash it.  
His hands continue slowly but firmly up my chest. Grabbing me with both hands pulling me resolutely towards himself. His rock hard cock is pressed against my lower back.  
His hands search down and buttons up the top button on my jeans. He reaches inside and grabs my dick in a firm grip. I'm hard and I’m wet!

He bends down and bites my neck. Gently. Licks. Bites again. Licks again.  
He continues biting me gently and ends up on a spot right beneath my ear, licking, biting lightly and kissing me exactly where I love it the most. He doesn’t know that it’s my favorite spot. I don't even know him. Never met him before. But the skin right there, on my neck, under my ear, is so sensitive. I could come from this alone.

He tightens his grip around my dick and strokes it up and down a few times.  
His lips stroke my ear...  
"You liked that!"  
It’s not a question but a finding.  
"Come!"  
For a moment I’m confused… what does he mean?... does he want me to come, right now. In the middle of the dance floor…? but then he speaks again  
“I have the key to the office out back. Are you game?”  
I answer without hesitation.  
"I'm game."

He unlocks the office door.  
We enter the dark room and I close the door behind us. Once I've closed the door he nails me up against it. He attacks my neck and presses his hips against mine. He's rock hard.  
"Top or bottom?" he moans against my neck.  
"Ehh ... I'm vers ..."  
That's not entirely true. Normally I’d prefer to top, but right now I'm into whatever.  
He stops and looks at me.  
“Same… Can I? I wanna feel you around me..."  
I nod, smile crookedly and wink jokingly.  
"Bring it on!"

  
I turn around, button up my jeans and pull it down over my ass  
He spreads my buttocks with one hand while buttoning up his pants with the other. He strokes my rim a few times and slowly pushes a finger inside me. Makes sure that I'm ready. I am. I'm more than ready.  
"Move over here"  
He guides me toward the desk. His dick has been released and dances proudly in front of him as he closes in behind me.

He takes a condom out of his pocket and tears the foil open with his teeth.  
"Bend forward..."  
He puts a hand on my lower back and pushes his dick in between my buttocks. I can hear him spit in his hand and rub it onto his dick.  
He slides inside in his first attempt...  
I moan and push myself backwards toward him.  
"Okay. You ARE ready. Fuuuuck you're tight!”  
He is gentle and tough at the same time.  
It's fucking good! And right now, versatile is my new favorite word.

I've released my own dick and have it in a firm grip. I'm close. Trying to hold back, but is tilted over the edge as I feel him tensing up, feel his orgasm approaching. I tighten my grip and let my hand run back and forth a few times before coming, my cum spreading across the desk.  
He pushes inside for the last time and stays like that until he's done. Then pulls out slowly and discards the condom.  
"You’ll probably need this."  
He laughs and points to a pack of kleenex standing on the desk.

I stand up straight, pack away my semi-hard dick and wipe the table clean.  
As I turn around he buttons the last button on his pants.  
“Not bad! My name is Even by the way."  
He reaches out his hand and I take it in mine.  
"Isak. Not bad at all."  
“Well, ehhh, I'm gonna go. Let's... ehh… not have coffee soon…”  
He winks at me and smiles, then turns around and disappears out of the office while straightening his hair.  
“See you never, Isak..."

I button my jeans. Smile to myself and shake my head a little.  
Fuck, this was actually pretty good... I feel 10 kg lighter… totally relaxed. It’s been a while since I had such a good fuck.  
But what the hell just happened to “See you never"... arrogant bastards. That’s usually my remark.  
I empty my beer and fix things on the desk before heading out to find my friends...


	2. This is Even

The first thing I see is my white shirt flung over the chair in the corner. My mouth is dry and the hangover hits my head at the same rate as my pulse is hammering. Obviously it got late last night, or early today, it depends on how you see it.  
When I wake up again a few hours later, the first thing I do is check that no one is lying next to me in the big double bed. I breathe out in relief.   
I have done that mistake a number of times before. Last time I woke up with a small hysterical woman who was just fine until she woke up thinking we were a couple.  
I think her name was Sonja. Didn't take a hint and sent me messages for weeks afterwards.  
After that I got scared and no one has been allowed to come home with me ever since.

But yesterday. Damn! What was his name? Something with I…? Isak that’s it!   
I’m inexplicably happy that I remember his name. Just the thought of what we did in the office makes my boner pop up in no time. I close my eyes, jerk back and forth a few times and reach my climax pretty fast. Dry of with my boxers and stay i bed, dazing of, afterwards. Just enjoying how relaxed I’ve become after jerking off. Almost feel intoxicated.  
Isak. I would definitely consider taking him home. I’m sure he would have been smart enough to leave as soon as we were done with each other. Although it would take a while. With him.  
In recent months there have been only a few random hookups. That's it. I both want a partner and I don't. I don’t need any more people bossing me around. That’s for sure. My father does that job pretty well.

I should have never tried to live up to his expectations. Now I’m stuck in the family business with some lousy credits from BI, instead of studying film as I really want to. Mum has never believed that managing nightclubs and restaurants are my thing. She still thinks this is just a phase I’m going through before I find myself. I myself think that I've been looking for a hell of a long time by now.  
A couple of lovely green eyes suddenly pop up in my consciousness again. Before I move further on into several dirty thoughts about a random hookup, I force myself to a sitting position on the side of the bed.  
Two small knocks on the bedroom door, and Mikael gently sticks his head inside.  
"Are you alone..?"  
"Yes, luckily! Come on in.”

He opens the door completely and has two large coffee mugs in his hands.  
"Damn! I love you!”  
We sit in bed for an hour reconstructing the evening and the night. Satisfied that the nightclub was packed and the cashbox as well after one of the best nights so far this year. Both the coffee and the headache disappear. Usually I share everything with Michael, he knows about all my scams on the love front. But something makes me hold back today. Something makes me not want to hand over what Isak and I did at the back office last night.  
"You danced with a guy? It looked pretty hot out there. Then you disappeared..?”  
Mikael smiles at me through his bangs.  
I should have known that of course he saw us.  
"Just a random guy, we just made out for a while..."  
I notice that he’s waiting for me to look him in the eye, but I refuse to face him.

"Can we handle having Mutta and Elias over today, or should we just chill the two of us? They’re asking in the groupchat…”  
He’s waving his cell phone at me.  
I pull my hand through my hair but give up to get it organized. I definitely need a shower.  
"Can we just take it easy today? I have to be at my best in the mornings. You too. And those guys never leave. If we are to continue running the club, then we both have to be on top tomorrow morning. We’ll have to take orders and pay wages.  
" I say just tell the guys that your hungover."  
He smiles content.  
"... we can order some food from Fodora and watch a movies. And I’ll choose the movie!”  
Mikael emphasises the last sentence.  
"But…?"  
“NO, Even! Forget it! I can't stand any more black and white stuff from the mid 1900's! That's out of the question!"


	3. This is Isak

“That’s cheating. God damn it!!!"  
Magnus's voice echoes throughout the apartment. Magnus and Jonas play FIFA in our common room and it sounds like Magnus is losing.  
"As if... you're seriously the sorest loser I know."  
Jonas laughs out loud.  
"Come again, Mags... come again."  
I'm in the kitchen getting us new supplies. Chips, coke, salt pretzels... It's the day after a night out on clubs and hangover is just best drained with heaps of salt and sugar. And now in the middle of the afternoon we have gradually emptied the kitchen cabinets of everything that contains the two essential ingredients.  
The three of us have lived together since we graduated high school. 

We live small and unfancy. We’re all students so the money is small, but we have made ourselves comfortable and most importantly, it’s our place. No matter what, it’s better than back home. Everything is better than back home.  
“Guys, we've out of chips. And coke... it's a disaster... who’s going to the store this time?"  
Back in the living room, I put the bowl of the last remnant of chips on the coffee table.  
“The loser’s going grocery shopping! Okay?”  
Jonas suggests.  
“Best idea ever! Mags buy some barbecue chips this time. And dip. Holiday dip.”  
I wink at Magnus, who rolls his eyes resignedly.  
“Seriously! Me! Again! Why’s it always me?!”  
"Because you always lose."   
Jonas pushes his shoulder lightly.

“Okay, okay! I'll do it. But! Izzy, then you have to tell ud what happened yesterday... at the club, with that guy you were dancing with. In details please!”  
I laugh and smile secretly.  
"Ha ha. You’d like to know!"  
“Uh, yes please. Seriously man. It got pretty hot out there on the dance floor... impossible to not notice, and just as it looked like you would end up banging right there in the middle of the dance floor, you disappeared... you have spill the beans man... "  
Jonas rolls his eyes and throws the controller on to the couch.  
"Mags, leave Isak alone. You're just envious because you didn't get laid yourself."

“Ehh, Yeah, off course I’m envious. Did you see the guy? He was smoking hot… If I were into men... I'm just saying... hubba hubba... Come on Isak. Spill it!"  
Mags pops up onto the couch, pulls a pillow up in front of him and dry humps the pillow with vigorous movements.  
“Okay okay… I'll tell you. But first ... put that poor pillow down! You’re a fuckoholic. Jesus!”  
"YES!"  
The guys settle in with the bowl of chips on their lap and eagerly await the continuation.  
I think back to last night... back on big hands, blue eyes, wide slender shoulders, full lips and an amazing dick...  
Even, his name was Even... I don't usually remember the name, but there was something about this guy...

I allowed him to top, for crying out loud! That never happened before with a one night stand. Never! Versatile my ass. I top, period! Or usually I top... But he was so damn bossy and that did something to me… But... nobody needs to know that...  
"Isak... come on..."  
“Yeah, yeah, well, you saw him. He was crazy hot. He was keen on fucking and he had the key to the office in the back. Don't know who he had to bang to get a hold of that key, but it was actually really cool to be able to close the door and bang a guy up against a clean desk instead of a sleazy toilet stall."  
“I knew it, you fucked him! You’re always so damn lucky.”  
"Lucky! Ha! I'm not lucky. I'm hot, Mags. I’m every gay guys wet dream. That’s all.”  
Magnus leans back with his arms crossed.  
"I wanna bang someone when we go clubbing too.”


	4. Ten, nine, eight, seven...

We cruise around in my dads new Tesla. I was allowed to borrow it until tomorrow because I was going to pick up my little sister, Anna, and drive her home from some studymeet. And only because Michael is here. Dad trusts Michael more than me. Wise of injury after I wrecked mom's BMW during one of my manic episodes.  
The nightclub is thriving and dad is happy. When dad is happy, everyone is happy.  
Except for me that is. I have nothing to complain about. Great job, nice crib, and random hookups if I bother. The last few weeks I haven't bothered. It doesn't give me anything anymore.  
It feels like each new week is just a repeat of the previous one.  
Work, party, hang out with friends, work out with Mikael when I'm up for it and Sunday dinner with my mom, dad and Anna.

"You’re so quiet? Are you okay..?"  
"Sure, everything’s fine, just a little bored with everything. Everything feels like an old LP record that has notched, playing the same shit over and over again. I'm bored out of my mins."  
"Okay...?"  
Michael looks worried.  
“I take my meds, I’m not going up or down for that matter! You don't have to ask!”  
I’m too feisty in my voice and immediately regret it.  
"You know I didn't mean it like that, right?"  
"Sure, just used to that being what everyone thinks."  
"I'm not everyone!"  
"No, you're not! I’m Sorry!”  
We give each other a small nod to confirm that we’re okay.

The GPS shows that we we’ve reached our destination and Anna and some other person come out of the villa, they head for the car and jump in.  
"I promised we’d drive Isak home."  
“Majorstua area is just fine actually."  
That voice! I turn around, a little too abruptly, to the back seat and am met by green eyes that I would recognize anywhere. Shit! It’s him. The guy from the office at the club. His eyes widen in surprise the moment he recognizes me.  
The drive from Holmenkollen down to Majorstua is filled with medical professional talk between Anna and Isak in the back seat. His voice makes my heart thump like obsessed, and the only thing I can think of is his warm skin under my fingers. The sounds he made…

"If you’d bother to drop me off at the next bus stop there? I'm going to the gym."  
I shake my head to get away from my own thoughts, turn over and stop the car by the curb. Finally, his green look in the mirror. He holds my gaze with an arrogant little smile. Hell no, he’s not playing me like that.  
"Don't forget to train that sixpack of yours, Isak."  
I wink at him through the mirror.  
"Don't worry, there is no danger of that ever happening, Even."  
He quickly parries back, before thanking for the ride and slamming the car door behind him.  
"Good looking guy. Is he your new boyfriend or…? ”  
Mikael turns around and looks at Anna.  
"Isak likes boys, unfortunately."  
Her information makes it rush in my stomach.

We finally get rid of Anna at my parents' house and I count down inside my head. Ten, nine, eight, seven…  
"What was that abort?! Between you and that Isak guy. It was the guy from the club, wasn’t it? the guy you danced with. The one you wouldn't talk about.”  
Mikael looks at me eagerly and laughingly.  
"What? What?"  
I try to stay serious but can't hide the wide smile that spreads across my face.  
“Spill it! What was that about his six pack?”  
He keeps my gaze and as he waits for my answer, I can see the pieces falling into place for him.  
"You fucked! That explains why you’ve been in such a foul mood for the last couple of weeks.”


	5. What the hell

What the hell was that?   
Who does he think he is?   
"Don't forget to train that sixpack of yours, Isak."   
What the fuck! Who says that… And my answer... Oh Lord, tearfully embarrassing...   
"Don't worry, there is no danger of that ever happening, Even."   
And I fucking winked at him too!   
Well, I did answer back with a quick reply, but damn. What a lame comment! I could have done better.  
I quickly change into workout clothes and throw my bag into the locker room closet. When I walk into the gym I scout around and find Magnus and Jonas already in the middle of our usual routine. Today is ‘arms, chest and stomach day’. Well, that’s just perfect, I shouldn’t forget to train that six pack of mine...

I walk resolutely towards the treadmills.   
I have to burn off some energy to avoid exploding. I have too. Right now!   
I choose a mountain climber program. Yep, that’s going to burn. Exactly what I need.   
I run for what feels like an eternity. Up, up, up. My legs acidify.   
Fuck that Even guy. Fuck him. Such an arrogant arse.   
‘Don't forget to train that six pack of yours.’   
Fuck him and his spiteful comment.   
The sweat hails from me and I jump off the treadmill without turning off. Land on the floor and straighten my back. I rip of my shirt and toss it on the floor.   
"Ahhhhhh...!"   
Jonas and Magnus have seen me and wave me over.

“There you are, where were you?”   
“Nowhere.”   
I can hear myself snorting it out.   
“Just got delayed because of my fucking study group. Where’re you at? The bench press?"   
I change the weights, lie down on the bench and grab the lever. Arms, shoulders and legs in position, abs tense... those fucking abs.   
“100 kg bench press!!! Are you insane?..”   
I look up. Magnus and Jonas are frozen. Both just staring at me.   
"What?!!!" My irritation obvious.   
“What do you mean what? What the hell is wrong with you today? Had I not known better I would think it was Hulk who’d shown up for training today and not Isak Valtersen. You just lack the color.”

“Ha ha, funny. Now help me with the lever."   
Okay, I almost have to admit to myself that 100kg is too much, almost.   
One push! Two!   
"Fuuuuuuuuk... Shit!!!"   
I scream it out as Jonas helps me with the lever.   
Magnus looks totally startled.   
"Easy! Isak! Relax! What the fuck. You’re fucking scaring me."   
I sit up on the bench and gasp for breath.   
Jonas puts a hand on my shoulder.   
“Bro, chill. Go grab a shower and cool off. Clear your mind. We’ll clean up in here when we're done. We’ll just see you at home."

While standing under the shower, I think of just one thing. Well, one person to be exact...   
I'm in the far end of the shower room, in a corner shower. I'm alone, facing the hard water jets, my back against the empty shower area behind me, my eyes closed and without doubt have the biggest boner since that night at the club.   
Even! That asshole. I grind my teeth together and look down on my boner. There is only one thing I want right now and that is to fuck Even. Hard! I grab my dick and jerk it back and forth until I reach my climax and finally feel the calm settle into my body again.


	6. Is it a boy or a girl?

Sunday dinner is over and all my attempts to make Anna talk about Isak have been almost completely unsuccessful. The only thing I've learned is that his last name is Valtersen. He is in the same class as Anna in Med school, but they circle in different groups of friends.  
Anna and I sit in the TV room and I have my legs on the table. Anna watches ‘Ex on the beach’ and I scroll through Instagram for his name.  
There! Isak Valtersen. The account is several years old and contains small movie clips and lots of pictures of him and his friends. There are several pictures of him shirtless, only wearing small training shorts. My God, look at him, he’s insanely good looking! So muscular. And that smile of his.   
Jesus, I'm so fucked!

Suddenly Anna bends forward and manages to see what account I’m looking at before I frantically push it away.  
"Do you think I'm stupid or? You're so obvious!”   
Anna looks at me with laughter in her eyes.   
"I do understand why, suddenly, as a lightning bolt from clear skies, I get invited to one of your and Mikael's parties. That never happened before.”  
"Sorry? What do you mean?"   
I set up something that I hope looks like an astonished facial expression.   
"Sure the nice little sister of mine is coming to my party."   
"You might as well come to confession, Even! You're want something and I bet it's Isak, to say it like that!"   
"Okay, fuck it… will you just please bring him!"   
I throw every last bit of pride overboard and she laughs out loud at me.

"I don't think I want to expose him to you."   
"What?! Expose him to me?"   
"Yes! What is it that you want from him? You're just fucking around!”   
I'm considering whether to lay it all out as it is, or if I should try out some more acting.   
Before I decide, my mom comes into the room.   
"What are the two of you doing? It's so nice to see you talking together for once. She strokes Anna on her cheek before moving on to me and doing the same.   
"Even was about to tell me about one he's in love with..."   
”Shut up!"

I look at Anna cautiously, but too late. Now mom’s got water on the mill. She lights up and there we go...   
"Is it a guy or a girl?"   
She looks alternately at Anna and me.   
“No, Mom! Just, no!"   
"It's a guy."  
"Damn it, Anna!"   
I get up quickly, but Anna is closer to the door than me and manages to get out of the living room and into the bathroom and lock the door.   
I can hear her laughing out loud in there.   
Mom takes me by the arm and I get flashbacks to when we were younger and argued like crazy.

  
  
"Even..?"  
I have to mann up so as not to turn defiant as a little kid. I breath in, sigh out loud and stay where I am.  
"I just want to say that I love you, and if you are in love, I hope it works out for you. And if you'd rather study film than work for Dad, I'll back you up 100%. You know that, right?”   
She looks at me with her kind eyes and I wish I was ten years old.   
"I know!"   
I lean down to hug her.   
"I think I'm going home..."   
She holds me tight so that the hug lasts a little longer than I had intended.   
"It's nice to be your mom, Even."


	7. Halla ❤️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even texting his little sis, taking desp to a new and expensive level...

Even: Halla ❤️  
Anna: What do you want? You never send me heart emojis...  
Even: I do too ☺️❤️  
Anna: Yeah right! Spill it!  
Even: Yeah, okay... Can you please bring Isak to the party?  
Anna: Idiot!  
Even: come on. I’ll pay you a thousand kroner...  
Anna: I do need a new purse...  
Even: No, forget about it. Just forget that I asked.  
Anna: I’ll do it for two thousand!  
Even: Deal ❤️


	8. Please, Isak

“I dont want to go to that freaking party. Jesus!”  
“Sure you do. Don’t be a prude.”  
Anna and I are at our campus library studying for an exam.   
“But Anna, I don’t know anyone except you. It’ll be so boring and awkward.”  
“You know Even!”  
She looks at me and smiles big.  
“I don’t know your brother. And more important  
I don’t even like your brother. Sorry, but he’s so arrogant and self-absorbed. I have nothing in common with him.”  
“Ehh, yeah you do. Except from my big brother you are one of the most arrogant and self-absorbed people I know. You two have everything in common…   
“Ehh… excuse me. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“Just you wait and see. You’ll end up liking him… You'll see! And he‘s into guys you know! Did you know that Isak?”  
She smiles big.  
“Oh my God Anna, I don’t care about his sexual preferences… not one bit.”  
I feel my cheeks turning red and just hope to God that she doesn’t notice.  
“Okay, forget about Even. But listen. You’re my study buddy. We’re friends. Friends go to parties together. And I’ve been tormenting him about being allowed to join his parties for so long. He throw the wildest parties. So I’ve heard. But I’ve never been allowed to participate. And now, finally, he has invited me to come…”  
She kinks her head to the side, puts on her cute ass puppy eyes and continues…

“...So, Isak, please. Will you please please please come with me to Evens party this weekend?”  
“Okay! Okay! I’ll go with you. For fucks sake! Can we please focus on studying now?”

I stop by the gym on my way home. Today is actually my rest day, but I need to blow off some steam.  
I can’t believe that I actually agreed to go with Anna to that lame party. I fucking don’t want to go anywhere near that Even guy. But hey, I love Anna, she’s one of my best friends, so how could I say no to her.   
I don't see how the two of them can be siblings at all really. Well they’re both beautiful… Yeah, he is beautiful for sure, that I’ll admit, but the resemblance to Anna stops there. He’s such an arrogant prick! The total antithesis to sweet and kind Anna.

Why did he even come to Anna’s the other day?  
I saw something in their eyes when she let him into her apartment. Something unspoken between them.   
And what was up with him fucking teasing me and flirting like crazy. That was just weird...  
Yeah, we had an encounter. One time! A freaking hot encounter to be exact. But seriously! The way he behaved that night at the club… It was obvious that he’s just a well versed in the art of one night stands as I am.  
We had an unspoken agreement:   
Make out, fuck our brains out, goodbye for good. End of story!   
‘See you never’, his exact words. Not exactly a phrase that can be misunderstood, right?

So why the spiteful remark in the car when he dropped me of that day after classes?   
Why show up unannounced at Anna’s?   
Why invite me to his stupid party?   
I fucking don’t get it. And I don’t like when I don’t get it. I prefer to be in charge of things. To have control. Going to his damn party not understanding what the fuck is up with him, makes me feel kind of powerless! And I fucking don’t like that feeling one bit.   
Does he maybe have a hidden agenda of some sort???  
Wait! That’s gotta be it… there’s a fucking hidden agenda. I’m sure of that! what’s he up to… And then it dawns to me… he fucking wants more!!! Fuck that fucker…


	9. I haven’t spared you a single thought

The music comes thundering with me into the hallway as I open the door to welcome more guests. It’s Anna, two girls I don’t know and Isak..  
Anne stretches up to get a hug on her way in. She whisper into my ear.  
“You’re so cute when you're in love! Remember, you owe me a thousand bucks.”  
Isak is the last one to come inside. He looks at me with a mad expression.  
"Anna insisted, unfortunately."  
I stay in the doorway so that he has to walk so close by me that I can smell him. I want to put my face down into his curls.  
Just the thought of it makes my dick twitch.   
Oh my God! He’s so insanely cute.  
Isak stays at the party all night, but hardly sacrifices me a glance. He dances, talks and flirts with everyone but me. He totally ignores me.

Eventually I get so exhausted, on the verge of giving up, that I need a timeout. I exit the staircase and sit down on the top step.   
What an idiot I am. Why even bother! It would have been much better if I had never met him again. I should look for someone easier instead. One that doesn't crawl under my skin like he does?  
The door behind me opens, but I don't bother to turn around to look who’s coming. Most likely one of Anna's girlfriends. They've been hanging on to me like Siamese twins all night.  
"No hook up for you tonight? Is that why you're sitting here sulking? "  
I would recognize that voice anywhere.  
"I bet it’s the hookup with me that makes it hard for you to find someone else?"  
"You wish! I haven’t spared you a single thought!"

I meet his green, laughing gaze.  
"Yeah right!"  
He rolls his eyes and laughs out loud.  
I alternate between wanting to strike him or to drag him into the bedroom with me.  
"Fuck you!"  
"You’d probably like that."  
He laughs even more before continuing confidently.  
"But it's not going to happen. It was a one-off event to put it that way. You fucking me!”  
"It’s completely out of the question for me to repeat a one night stand, so that's just perfect."  
I snap back before he's even finished talking.  
He stops laughing and turns serious.  
"Yeah, I hear you saying so. Still!"

He looks me in the eyes and gives me the feeling of desperately wanting more. He keeps my gaze and I'm sure he can hear my heart beating.  
He gets up and pulls me to my feet.  
I tear myself free of his hold, but immediately regret doing so.  
Then he just turns his back on me and goes back into the hallway. When I come to my senses and follow him inside, he has already put on his jacket ready to leave.  
"Where do you think you're going?!"  
I grab him around his waist with both hands and push him in front of me toward my bedroom. Slamming the door behind us and turning to face him.  
He doesn't leave me in control for long.  
"Fucking admit it!"  
"I'm not admitting to anything!"

"You're so damn obvious! I bet you paid your sister to get me here!”  
"What?! I haven't!”  
I'm never going to admit that to him.   
"And now 'See you never, Even' intends to repeat an one night stand!"  
He takes a step towards me and stands up straight, our chests touching.   
He keeps my gaze. Challenges me.  
"Fuck you, Isak."  
My eyes are hanging by his lips.  
He’s not giving up.  
"You have to say it!"  
My hand on his neck. His hand in my hair.  
His hips against mine. His breath against my lips. I finally let my guard down and give in to what I really want, whispering against his soft lips.  
"I'd like to do it again... with you ..."


	10. Fuck you

"With me..? Really? I hadn't noticed that at all."   
I laugh and press my hips further against him.   
Good damn, he's rock hard. I can feel every inch of his impressive dick standing, waiting behind his, now too tight, jeans.   
I grab his his hair tighter. Keeping his face a few inches away.   
I’m waiting. The seconds pass... he keeps still, waiting for my next move.   
I smile, probably a little cheeky, my green eyes definitely black with lust. Fuck I want him!   
I’m aware that this might not be a good idea… This is definitely a bad idea... but fuck it. I want to fuck him... and now, finally, he admitted that he wants it too. 

His breathing is shallow and fast. His chest raises and lowers toward mine. His heart is pounding like obsessed.   
"Fuck you, Isak..."   
"I think you mean fuck me, Isak... am I right?"   
I just whisper it. His lips are now so close to mine that I can taste him. And fuck, I want to taste him so bad.   
I'm leaning a little further forward. My one hand still in his hair, the other I use to support myself up the wall behind him. I tilt my head obliquely and let my lips stroke his neck, just below his ear. I slide my tongue slowly over the earlobe and bite gently. The light touch sends shockwaves through him and and goose bumps appear on his neck.

He moans quietly and stretches his neck as if to make me do it again.   
"I hit the right spot there, didn’t I?"   
"Mmmm..."   
His hand in my neck tightens its grip, his thumb caresses my jaw. Slow, tentatively. His other hand slides up under my T-shirt, he lets his fingers slide over my abs...   
"Are you counting again?"   
Laughter is in my voice.   
"Maybe…"   
His fingers continue down to my waistband and he unbuttons the first button.   
“Okay… the touch of the tip of a tongue on your earlobe, and you're ready. It’s noted."   
His eyes have darkened as he’s staring at button number two.

His thumb reaches my mouth. I moisturize my lips per instinct and his gaze follows the movement of my tongue. His thumb slowly slides over my lower lip and moisturizes before he reaches for his own mouth. Our eyes lock as his tongue slides along his finger. He pushes it inside his mouth and closes his full, soft lips around it.   
He smiles as his finger silently, slowly slides in and out. His eyes now black with desire.   
He opens button number three as he whispers   
“Fuck me, Isak...”  
“As you wish…”   
I twist the fourth button open myself and release my rock hard dick. I slowly stroke it, up and down, while he is watching.

"Is this what you want?"   
"Yes..."   
He pulls off his shirt and falls to his knees in one and the same motion.   
"Let me warm you up... I wanna taste you.”   
His warm and soft lips envelop my dick without further notice. His hands firmly gripping my ass. He holds me in place while tasting the goods.   
I already knew that he’s good at banging and can now conclude that blowjob is also one of his top skills. Showoff!   
I feel my climax build up long before I expected and push him of. I'm not allowing myself to come yet.   
"Enough warming up for now... stand up."

Even pulls of my t-shirt as he stands up.   
“Those abs… They sure are impressive.”   
He lets his hand stroke across my stomach.   
"I know. They’re looked after and cared for. But I really don't want to talk about my abs. Button up!”   
"Yes, Sir!"   
He smiles and winks as he buttons up and lets his dick appear. Just as exquisite and proud as that night at the club. It’s an impressive sight.   
I take it in my hand and run my thumb over the head. Repeatedly. Fuck, he's so wet already. He closes his eyes as he exhales heavily. The velvety skin and the pulsating blood vessels on the shaft of his delicious dick makes my dick twitch. For a brief moment, I consider whether to ask him to fuck me again, but push the thought aside. 

Tonight it's my turn to fuck him!   
"Turn around."   
He turns around, now standing with his hands up against the wall. I mark with one foot that I want him to spread his legs even wider.   
"More! Spread!"   
He does as commanded.   
His jeans hang low on his hip, the top of his ass visible over the waistband.   
I let my hands slide down his back, noticing how he gets goosebumps from my touch.   
Fuck, he's just as keen about this as me.   
My hands reach the waistband and I pull his pants down.   
I caress his ass, spread the buttocks a little, let a couple of fingers slip in between them, caress his rim, run my fingers around in gentle circles. I can feel him relax under my touch.

I lean in over him and let my lips and tongue slide over his back as I jerk my own dick a few times. I'm wet from precum and Evens saliva. I'm so horny that I'm about to burst.   
"I would also like to do it again... with you... very much, actually."   
My voice is hoarse and doesn't sound like me at all. But fuck it. It's horny me speaking.   
“Isak, I'm ready! Just fuck me for crying out loud!”   
Even pushes backwards and hits me so that my wet proud soldier of a dick slides in between his buttocks.   
I rock back and forth a few times while pulling a condom from my back pocket.   
"Impatient?.."   
"Fuck you. You tease, you want this just as much as me. I have lube here... just in case…”

He pulls out a drawer in a dresser standing beside us.   
"I don't think we need it, but okay."   
I pull back a bit, roll on the condom and take the bottle of lube from his hand. I squirt a bit of the clear lube on my dick and move closer again.   
With small rocking motions, I let my wet and glistening dick dance down between Evens buttocks again, all the way until I reach my goal.   
I enjoy the sight of my hard dick between the tight, fair skinned buttocks as I slowly push towards his rim.   
Much faster than expected, he relaxes and lets me in.   
He is so so tight and I moan heavily as he lets me slip all the way to the bottom. "Fuuuuck... so amazing, so tight."

Even’s breathing on beat with my thrusts, first heavy and calm, then faster and more superficial.   
He leans against the wall with one hand and has a firm grip around his glorious dick with the other.   
His rim tenses up, squeezes in, around my dick as he comes, which pushes me over the edge as well. I push forward one last time and stay there until my dick stops pulsing.   
We both fall onto the bed standing behind us.  
"Fuck. That was so damn good! You've tried that before," he gasps.   
"It was... and yes, a couple of times... By the way... Is now the time where I step in and say 'See you never’...?" I laugh.   
“Shut up. Dickhead. You're not going anywhere.”


	11. Stay for a bit?

It feels so heavy!  
I fumble around half-asleep before waking up properly. I lift my head and see that Isak is halfway on top of my chest. I lie back down, relieved. He's still here!  
I can't remember the last time I woke up this way. Maybe never, when I think about it.  
I can’t hide from the fact that ‘the morning after’ has never been my thing. Never ever. Until now.  
"Hey..."  
I whisper it into his curls. They feel just as nice as I've been daydreaming about.  
He stirs a little and lifts his head from my chest.  
His green eyes are more of a light green today than last night. I notice an, until know, unknown vulnerability on his face, and his eyes take a look around my room. I guess he’s preparing his escape route.

"Stay for a bit?"  
The words are out of my mouth before I think.   
I never ask that question!  
He lies down on top of me again. I love the weight of him on me. The stubble that wasn't there yesterday scratches my skin. My hand in his hair makes his head heavier and more relaxed for each movement I make.  
"I don’t usually do this..."  
He mutters it against my skin.  
"Neither do I..."  
Suddenly it's not that hard to be honest.  
"You're about to get soft, you know..."  
I both hear and feel the smile in his voice.  
"Maybe a little..."  
Now I'm smiling too.

"What does one call a one night stand when it turns twice...?"  
He giggles into my bare chest.  
"I don't think it's called anything, cause one doesn’t do that."  
"No, that's right."  
He giggles even more.  
We’re interrupted by a knock on the door, Isak suddenly raises his head and panic lurks in his eyes. I pull him back down and hold him tight.  
"Relax. It’s okay!"  
He pulls the duvet up over his head when I speak  
"Come in..."  
Mikael looks inquiringly through the door.  
"Alone..?"  
I shake my head, pointing down at the top of the curly blonde hair, which is barely visible, as a smile spreads across my face. Mikael smiles back. He holds up two big cups of coffee. I nod, and he slides across the floor, puts the cups on the bedside table and shakes his head lightly, before quietly disappearing again.

"You can come out now. The danger is over.”  
His head slowly reappears.  
“Jesus! Now I remember why I have a principle of not spending the night, to put it that way.”  
"Do you want coffee?"  
I ask, before he has time to think about leaving.  
"Coffee sounds digg!"  
We sit up in bed and he gratefully accepts one of the cups. The duvet is only covering his crotch and I have a clear view of the rest of his body. His chest, his arms, his long, strong legs, and his six pack that I've become so obsessed with.  
I glare at him, while taking a big sip of the hot coffee.  
It turns quiet between us, but in a good way.   
I want to bend over and give him a kiss. But I don't.

Three hours later we’re in the hallway and most of all I want to lock the door, throw away the key and never let him go.  
"This was really nice."  
I find his green eyes. Raises my hand and strokes away a curl which have fallen down over his eyes. He leans against my hand.  
"Yes, it was."  
He leans towards me and we give each other a clumsy hug. His lips softly stroke the side of my mouth.  
I stand there watching him put on his jacket and shoes. Then he turns to me and smiles a little.  
“See you never..."  
I stand there listening to his footsteps disappear down the stairs...


	12. Sørenga

The sun is shining over Oslo today, summer is in the air. It’s Sunday and me and the guys have gone to Sørenga harbour bath to relax in the sun.   
The place is packed with people and the sound of people talking and laughing mixed with boats on the water and seagulls screaming fills the air.   
I absolutely love this place.   
We’ve been so lucky to get our hands on one of the big wooden sunbeds near the edge of the wooden pier.   
Jonas is lying flat on his back, reading. Mags is at the far end of the pier. Sitting on the edge, splashing his feet in the water, trying, but failing, to get some girls attention.   
I’m sprawled out on my back besides Jonas, music in my ears, my cap pulled well down over my eyes, peeking out over Oslo fjord. 

Suddenly a frisbee comes out of nowhere hitting Jonas on his neck.   
“OUCH…” he jumps to his feet rubbing his neck with one hand holding the frisbee in the other.   
“What the fuck.”   
He takes a look around, trying to locate the offender.   
“Fuck! Sorry dude. Sorry. My bad. Did I hurt you?”   
A tall dark haired guy comes running towards Jonas.   
“Did you hurt me? Ehh, yes you did. You shouldn't throw a frisbee around here, you idiot. To many people around, it’s bound to go wrong.”   
“Yeah. Sorry. won't happen again… Truce?”   
The guys holds out a beer bottle.   
“It’s cold. Sorry again.”   
“Beer. Sweet! Thanks. You’re forgiven.”

Jonas laughs and hands over the frisbee to the guy and gets the beer in return. “I’m Elias by the way.”  
“Jonas. And thanks for the beer again.”   
Elias nods and joins his group of friends a few meters away.   
Suddenly I hear a familiar voice nearby. I pull out my earphones and listens closer. Yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind. A flaming heat spreads throughout my body. My cheeks no doubt turning red. It’s Even!   
We haven’t seen each other, or spoken, since the morning after the party at his place.   
I suddenly feel a deep longing to be near him again. I’m still hiding under my cap, haven’t dared to look in the direction of his voice.   
When I finally move the cap away from my eyes and look up, he’s already looking directly at me. 

I’m so amazed that I completely forget to look away. I just stare at him…   
he’s got nothing on but a pair of bathing shorts, his skin sun kissed and sweaty. His hair a mess. He’s got sunshades on but I can see the outline of his eyes through the shades. He’s still looking directly at me, a smirk on his lips.   
He’s with a group of about five guys. The guy who threw the frisbee at Jonas, one of them.   
Even sits down on the pier. Only a couple of meters away. He’s faced my way. His shorts a little loose on his legs, so that I have a full view of his bare legs all the way up to his groin.   
His eyes follow mine, he knows that I’m staring, knows what I’m thinking about. He smiles big and winks at me through the shades. I smile back and look down. This is so awkward…

When I look up again, he’s still looking at me. Desire in his eyes. I feel my bathing shorts tighten. Fuck!   
“Hey. Isak… do you know that guy?”   
Mags is back… fuck!   
“Ehhh. Who?”   
“Don’t play stupid, stupid. That guy who’s eyefucking you so hard right now…”   
“Mags! Shhhh. Shut the fuck up will ya!.”   
“Dude. It’s Even Bech Næsheim… he’s stinking rich, owner of that fancy Club we went to that time… wait… what! Is he? did you? IS THAT THE GUY YOU BANGED IN THE OFFICE?   
“Mags! Will you shut up!” I hiss at him. “Jesus Christ. Just shut up!”   
Even is looking at us with enthusiasm, he’s laughing to himself, no doubt having a blast on my behalf.

“But… He’s the most sought after single in town and the biggest fuckboy of them all… and you fucked him!!! Izzy, you are my true hero… seriousl…”   
Jonas comes to my rescue holding a hand over Mags’s mouth.   
“Shut the fuck up Mags. Not now, okay.”   
“Thanks bro, I’ll go for a swim.”   
I stand up and without hesitation I run to opposite side of the pier and plunge into the water head first.   
My mind is on fire and so is my groin…   
I dive down. Take a few swims and comes back to the surface. I repeat, dive down, swim a little further and comes back to the surface.   
“Halla…”   
I turn around and there he is. In the water, right in front of me.

“Halla… sorry about my friend… he’s an idiot.”   
“He was funny. But he’s got it all wrong, I was the one fucking you that night, remember?”   
He winks at me and swims a bit closer.   
“Yeah, don’t know how he got the other impression.”   
I try to sound confused… surely not succeeding.   
“Sure…”   
He swims a tad closer. Now inches from my body and I feel my shorts tightening again.   
He lifts his hand and caresses my cheek.   
“I missed you.”   
“I… I missed you too… I think.”   
He takes my hand under the water and leads me to his groin. His dick rock hard inside his shorts. Suddenly feeling confident I grab his cock and holds on tight.   
“Fuck, Isak, I’m so horny… you do that to me… you know…”

“Wanna go somewhere a little more private?”   
“I thought you’d never ask.”   
We swim around a corner and stops in a spot with no one close by.   
“I really missed you. I’m sorry to sound so dramatic, but it’s the truth.”   
Even sounds and looks a little uncertain… “Can I kiss you…”   
I say it without thinking. We haven’t really kissed before. Haven’t been that intimate… Shit!   
“Sorry I shouldn’t have asked that. Forget about it.”   
“No! No! Don’t apologise. I want to.”   
He grabs my chin and kiss me without any hesitation. And I kiss him back… We kiss for I don’t know how long. And I don’t care.   
All I care about is big, soft, wet lips, tongue against tongue and the feeling of coming home.


	13. Let’s not have coffee

I've been walking around in a haze since Sunday. That's three fucking days ago. When people talk to me, I only answer yes and no and then afterwards wonder what we really agreed on.   
Mikael has been teasing me since he saw how I behaved around Isak on Sørenga. "You're so fuckes, you know that right..” is what he says every time I zoom out and don’t listen. It's just as bad at work as it is at home.   
I can't stop thinking about him for even a minute. Butterflies fluttering in my stomach pursues me night and day just thinking about that kiss.   
This isn’t going to work much longer!   
I need some clarification on what we're really doing here!   
Can I send him a message? Or will that be weird? I myself hate getting messages from random hook ups. Maybe he's like me? Maybe he’ll run in the opposite direction if he sees me in his inbox?

"DAMN IT!"  
I don't realize I shouted it out loud, until Mikael shows up in the doorway.   
"What's up?!"   
“Nothing! That's the freaking problem!"   
I rub my face and wipe my hand through my hair.   
"Your thinking of Isak again aren’t you?" "Have I done anything else in the last few days?" I ask back, annoyed.   
He laughs out loud   
"Nope!"   
"What the hell am I doing?"   
I look at him.   
"Send him a message! Ask if he wants to grab coffee. The two of you should have a talk.”   
I slowly pick up my phone and find him on Messenger. I don’t have his cell number, don’t operate like that. None of us do.

  
  
After writing and deleting and re-writing for sure ten times, I press send before it's too late to change my mind again. "Let's not have coffee...?"   
I consider deleting it again, but he would be able to see that.   
What if he doesn't understand what I’m referring to?   
For the first time ever, I literally bite my nails. Looking intensely at the screen. The message is delivered. Then read. Then.... Nothing. Nada. Nix! No writing bubble.   
I’m such an an idiot! He won't answer. I’m gonna die from a heart attack or something very soon. My heart beats like possessed.   
There! A writing Bubble. No. Now it's gone again.   
But there! Finally!   
A message from Isak Valtersen lands in my inbox.   
Dare I open it???   
Yes, damn right I do! If I’m being ditched, I’m better of "pulling off the patch" instantly.

I see him as soon as I enter the cafe. He stands at the counter with his back turned against me ready to buy coffee. Maybe I should have just sat down, but my legs go straight to him. My hand leans on his broad shoulder. He turns and smiles when he sees me. Damn! How is it even possible to be that beautiful!   
I want to give him a hug, but fortunately I realize it’s probably best to drop it.   
"It was good that you came, I don't even know what kind of coffee you like?"   
He looks at me and blushes a little. "Bring me a Macciato and I'll go find us a free table?"   
I try to sound as normal as I can. He nods and smiles and suddenly looks so young.   
I can't help it and let my hand stroke his back before I leave.   
He brings the coffee to our table and sits across from me. Our legs stroke each other and we both try to pretend like nothing.

  
  


"I didn't think it was possible to miss someone I’d only met three times. Or four.   
I don’t dare to look at him while I say it. "I didn't think so either."   
His answer makes me dare anyway.   
I look up and his green eyes meet mine. "I’m happy that you send that message." He looks me straight in the eye as he says it.   
I so relieved by his words that I get tears in my eyes. Jesus Christ, Even! Get a grip!   
I think he sees it because he grabs my hand, intertwines our fingers and saves me from embarrassment. Then he says what I was about to say.   
"I've been thinking so much about that kiss..."   
"Me too..."   
His eyes are on my lips.   
"Can I have another one...?"


	14. Just don’t blame me

Four cups of coffee later, I still don't want to leave him and go home, but there are limits to how much coffee we can tolerate.  
His kiss still lingers on my lips and the only thing I can think about is how to get one more.  
"Do you have any plans in the next couple of hours...?"  
The question is out of my mouth before I get to think about what I really want with it.  
He looks at me questioningly and glances at the clock on his cell.  
"What’s on your mind...?"  
"I don’t know… maybe we could just go for a walk or something...?"  
Right now I wish he could read my mind and understand that I absolutely do not want him to leave any time soon.

He smiles and looks at me before picking up his cell and sending a message.  
"I'm in! Just had to cancel my training with the guys.”  
A wonderful warm feeling fills my entire body in seconds.  
"Just don't blame me for letting your abs go..."  
He laughs out loud and blushes a bit, and if possible looks even cuter than before.  
We leave the cafe together and go for a walk in the summer of Oslo. I want to take his hand, but of course I don't.  
We haven’t talked about where to go, but the course is automatically set towards Aker Brygge and the sparkling sea. In the streets we walk through it smells of hot asphalt and garlic food.  
I could have gone on like this forever with him.

"We can go and have a beer somewhere...?"  
He looks at me as we approach the restaurants located in a row along the piers.  
”Good idea!"  
He heads towards a vacant two-table and I order a couple of beers.  
Two beers later, Isak has told me about his medical studies and how he got to know Anna. We’ve agree that it’s kind of strange that we haven’t met before.  
I’ve talked about Mikael and my dad's job. And suddenly I have entrusted myself to someone other than my mom and Mikael about my plans to maybe start studying again.  
He even got to know a little about my illness and he’s still here with me. I don't like to talk about it, but wanted him to hear it from me and no one else.

"Running a nightclub may not be the smartest of jobs for you. I mean, with late nights and lots of partying...”  
He looks at me and I know he's right. Yet another reason to start studying again.  
"True."  
I spin and spin my box of snuff.  
He probably notices that I'm stressed out by talking about it. He puts his hand soothingly over mine.  
"Thank you for being honest and telling me all this personal stuff. I like that."  
I meet his gaze and see nothing but thoughtfulness. My pulse slows down and my leg stops shaking.

He tells me about a deadline he has tonight on some school assignment, so I realize that he has to go.   
I too have stuff to do. I’ve long postponed some things that needs to be fixed at the nightclub before it opens tonight and have at least five missed calls from Mikael.  
We’re at a crossroad and we’re going in opposite directions.  
I feel like dropping everything else and just keep walking around with him. We stay there for a couple of minutes not knowing exactly what to say.  
I gather every inch of courage and just let it out.  
"I'm glad you cancelled your workout..."  
"Me too..."  
I take a chance and put my hand around his neck. When I bend down, he raises his head just as much as it takes for his lips to meet mine.   
His tongue against mine. Oh lord… I've never felt like this before...


	15. Never thinking of you...

Even: Never thinking of you...

Isak: Me neither ❤️

Even: ❤️


	16. Stupid

It’s raining. Pouring down actually. I’m soaking wet. Running through the streets of Oslo. Running as fast as I can. Pushing myself to the limit. Getting the fury out of my system. Clearing my head.

I’m furious! Boiling inside!

Even has a fucking girlfriend!!! Mags overheard her talking about them… 

Seriously!!! 

How dare he? Playing me like that. That fucker!

No one does that to a guy like me!

No one! 

I’m not playing that game.

  
  


Is he even in to guys at all, or is he just messing around to experiment?

No one is using me to experimenting with their sexuality. No one!

Well! 

Fuck him. I don’t give a damn about him anyway. He was just a once, who unfortunately turned a twice, third, fourth and fucking fifth!!! 

Yeah. That’s it. 

… No!!! Fuck! That’s not it at all… I do give a damn about him.

Shit!

  
  


Fucking shit. 

That asshole got under my skin.   
What a fucking disaster… 

I turn a sharp corner and almost run down an old lady walking her dog.  
I stop and apologise making sure she’s alright. She’s yelling at me, so I guess she’s good.

I lean against the house wall my pulse is hammering in my ears, my eyes stinging.   
I’m gasping for breath. My lungs crying out for air.

  
  


Stupid!

So fucking stupid, Isak. You know better than letting some asshole charm you like that.

Even Bech Næsheim… What a fucking player. 

And I fucking fell for it!   
That’ll never happen again. That’s for sure!   
I’m done playing ‘sweet as candy boyfriends’.   
I’m sure as hell better off with just random hookups. That’s what I’m good at anyways.

  
  


I nod resolutely to myself. 

I’m good. 

I just need to get him out of my system. Better sooner than later.   
That fucker is occupying my mind all the damn time. And I need it to stop.

I set off on the house wall and put in a sprint.   
My legs acid and my lungs scream for air as I run up a steep hill. It fucking hurts but I push on and sprint even faster...

  
  
  
  



	17. Dinner for two

After I met Isak, it feels like I've been on a perpetual rollercoaster ride.

I have changed clothes so many times that my newly styled hair is now a total mess. Again.

I knit the shirt again and feel that I'm a little too overdressed. I should have just worn a T-shirt instead. I just want him to like me, so bad. As if the clothes matter.

"Even, pull yourself together man!"

I say the words aloud to myself before resting my forehead up against the cold mirror over the sink. Just standing there for a while, before I straighten up and comb my hand through my hair for probably a hundred times.

I have to finish up here and let Michael into the bathroom. He has offered to leave when Isak arrives. So that we can be alone. Just the two of us. He understands how important this is to me, so he has agreed to go to the movies with Elias and Mutta.

  
  


I go to the kitchen to check again that I have control over dinner. I can't fry the steaks until he has arrived. I have taken my chances that he is not a vegetarian.

I stop. With all that training, he couldn’t be? Could he? In that case, it would be a total disaster to serve him a steak.

I grab my snuff box from my pocket and nervously insert a new snuff under my upper lip. Consider the pros and cons and end up opening a beer. I take two big sips and feel my nerves calm down a little.

I check my cell. Go onto Isak’s insta and quickly scroll through his photos. And there is a picture from a restaurant.

"Yes! He eats meat.”

Relief swirls through my body.

  
  


I find Mikael standing in the door to the kitchen looking at me. He has never seen me like this before. Ever.

"That’s nice. That he eats meat…”

He laughs teasingly and I have to laugh too.

"Have a good evening tonight, Even. Greet Isak from me and say he doesn't have to hide under the duvet tomorrow morning."

Just the thought of having Isak back in my bed makes the butterflies flutter wildly in my stomach.

At the same time, a message buzzes in on my cell which is still in my hand.

It's from Isak.

I open it eagerly. And read it.

I read once more. Then again.

The butterflies in turn into something dark and painful...

  
  


I wake up from the sound of a key in the keyhole. It must be Michael. Please, don't let Elias or Mutta be with him. I just couldn’t cope with either of them right now.

It turns quiet out there. He has probably discovered that Isak is not here and that the dining table is untouched. I hear his steps in the hallway, stopping outside my door, two gentle knocks on the door.

I sigh and get ready.

"Even...?"

The door opens and the light strip from the hallway shoots across my duvet.

"It went to hell. The whole dinner went to hell. Before it had even begun. He didn't even come..."

I beat Mikael to it, so he doesn't have to ask his cautious questions.

"He thinks that I have a girlfriend..."

"But... you haven't!"

He says it out loud, as if it's me he’s trying to convince...

  
  



	18. ARE YOU FOR REAL?

38, 39, 40, 41...

I’m on the floor doing push-ups. Sweat is dripping from my forehead, gathering in a pool on the wooden floor.

I’ve been going on for a couple of hours. Working out, pressing my body to the limit. 

I’m so mad I could scream. But I won’t! Working out helps me blow of steam. Working out always helps! 

I haven’t spoken to Even since I slammed his door shut the other night. Slammed the door and left him on the other side. Left him the hell out of my life. 

He left me a few texts but I haven’t opened any of them. He can just fuck the hell off!

  
  


66, 67, 68, 69...

My door opens and Jonas peeks inside. 

I remove my AirPods…

“What!?”

“Isak. The doorbell. Didn’t you hear. It’s for you.”

I stand up. My arms shudder with exertion. 

I dry some sweat of of my forehead with a towel and throw it onto the floor as I walk toward the hallway.

And there he is. Even. Off course. I should have know.

“Hi… Isak. You don’t answer my texts… so… Can we talk?”

I stay in the doorway and I stay quiet just staring at him.

“Please. Isak. I just want to talk… can I come in?”

  
  


Well this is gonna be fun… I nod once, turn around and walk back into my room. 

Behind me he steps inside the hallway and closes the door behind him. From my room I can hear him taking of his jacket and shoes and greeting Jonas and Magnus on his way to my room.

I wait for him in the middle of my room, standing up against my desk. I’m tense, my teeth and jaws bitten hard together. My abs tense. Sweat running down my face, chest, abs… I probably should put on s shirt… No, fuck that. I’ll let him crave for my abs while he’s talking. Fucking douchebag. 

Even enters my room with caution, hesitantly. He’s got a sad, confused look on his face. His eyes dull.

  
  


He’s acting for sure. Asshole.

“Isak, I don’t understand. What happened. Why won’t you answer my texts…I thought we were good...?”

Is he for real!!!

“Seriously! ARE YOU FOR REAL?”

My eyes glow with anger.

“But… I don’t know what the hell you were talking about at dinner? What girl?”

“Your girlfriend dumbass, don’t play dumb! I know about her. And I’m not playing along with whatever game your playing… fuck no!”

“Girlfriend! What! I haven’t got a girlfriend. Never have actually!”

“Sonja sais otherwise…”

“Sonja? Who? What!!!”

he looks completely confused. And he actually looks sincere!

  
  


“Magnus overheard her talking about you.”

“Oh my God. That bitch! I can explain. She’s nuts. I just hooked up with her once. ONCE! Months ago.”

“Sure!”

Fuck. I sound jealous. This has to stop. I’m not fucking jealous.

“Isak. Listen…” he steps a little closer. His eyes briefly looking up and down my bare torso, lingering at my abs for a few seconds before he finds my gaze again… 

I smile deviously.

“Dream on dude… You’ve burned down that bridge!”

He breathes out and looks down onto the floor.

“I don’t know what else to say. There is no no one else. No girl, or guy for that matter. I thought that you and… You know what. Just forget about it…” 

Then he turns around and storms out the door.


	19. I want this so much

I look at his three unread messages again. I'm not going to open them. Don't need to rub it in my own face that he doesn't want anything more to do with me. The anger and despair flush over me again like a tsunami. I've been a fucking idiot, thinking that he and I could be… something.

It’s so much easier with random hookups. This shit just fucks with my head. It makes me depressed.

“Fuck!”

I throw my cell against the wall.

"So damn pathetic!"

Mikael peaks out of the kitchen doorway, looking worried. He bends down to pick up the broken phone. Standing with it in his hand, not quite knowing what to do with it.

  
  


He stays there, a little indecisively, and looks my way.

"What..?!"

I look at him, annoyed.

"So you're just going to give up then..?!"

"Give up?! GIVE UP!! What the hell do you mean by that?! "

My voice is loud and shaky and I know I should calm down.

"fuck it, Mikael! I fucking can't threaten anyone to be my boyfriend! You understand that, don’t you? He has made it clear that he doesn't trust me."

"Hey, go have a shower, I'll cook something for us in the meantime. You've barely eaten in the last few days.”

The anger suddenly disappears in a flash and I do as he says. I stay in the shower until the hot water tank is empty. With wet hair, clean T-shirt and clean jeans I go out to Mikael in the kitchen.

  
  


We’re finish eating. We’re sitting in the kitchen with each our cup of coffee as the doorbell rings.

Before I get to prepare for the usual quarrel about who of us should open the door, Mikael is on his feet and walks towards the intercom in the hallway. I hear him answer and press the button to let someone in.

I sincerely hope it isn’t Elias or Mutta. They are a little more than I can handle right now.

Mikael stays there with the door open to the stairwell. The elevator arrives at our floor. I hear Mikael and someone else talking but can only hear a few of the words.

"Thanks for calling..."

"Thanks for coming..."

Then I hear two sets of footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

Mikael appears first, he stays in the doorway.

“I'm sorry. I went behind your back, Even. But it couldn't continue like this... "

I look at him, confused.

"What..?!"

  
  


Only then do I notice Isak standing behind him. 

I turn angry in a flash.

"I'm going for a walk, the two of you have to talk..."

Mikael turns around and quickly disappears into the hallway and out of the apartment. 

Isak walks into the kitchen.

"What the hell is the point of this? Ha?! I understood exactly what you said the other day? Damn Mikael! Just forget about this!"

"Have you read my messages..?"

He tries to catch my gaze, but I can't to look at him right now.

"Fuck this shit!"

I stand up abruptly and walk past Isak and out of the kitchen. I bump into him on the way and he grabs my arm. The the smoldering anger inside of me flares up, but he won't let me go!

  
  


"You have to listen to me!"

He pushes me against the wall and we almost get into a fight.

"Hell no! You need to leave. Now!"

I sneer it out, completely out of breath.

"I'm not going anywhere! Got it!”

He holds my hands so tight that I have no chance of getting out of his grip. He’s much stronger than me.

"I’m not letting go until you fucking listen to me!"

I make one last attempt to pull my hands loose, but realize that the battle is lost. He holds me firmly up the wall, both breathing heavily.

Finally, I give in and let him catch my gaze.

As we look at each other, his eyes change from bright green to dark green in a matter of seconds. His moves his face closer and closer and is finally so close that I have to close my eyes.

"My God, I want this so much!"

His voice is raspy and dark.

He lets go of my hands and his lips settle over mine.

  
  


We kiss for several minutes and finally just stand there hugging each other.

"Come!"

He takes control and pulls me into my room.

"Too many clothes..."

He starts by pulling off my T-shirt, throwing it on the floor, before doing the same with his own. We pull off our pants and leave them lying in a pile in the middle of the floor.

He puts his arms around me and pushes me backwards towards my bed. We crawl up onto the bed and pull on the duvet.

"I've been thinking about this since I got to know you. Just lying like this. Close to you..."

He leans against my back and holds me tight.

Finally! Finally, I can let my body sink into the mattress and relax properly for the first time in a very long time.

  
  
  
  



	20. Suddenly, nothing is difficult anymore

I wake up abruptly in the dark. The window is open and the nice, cold night air draws into the room along with the muffled sounds of the city at night.  
I lift my head and look around, discovering that I'm alone in bed. The idea that Isak has left hurts my stomach.  
I sit up in bed, but before the panic flushes properly over me, the door opens and Isak enters the room.  
"Did I wake you? Just had to use the bathroom…”  
"I thought you had left..."  
In the twilight I can see him coming towards the bed. Suddenly he thumps his toe against something, followed by a muffled ‘fuck'.  
The relief trickles down my body and I suddenly feel like laughing out loud. Or maybe crying?  
He sits on the edge of the bed, I lift the duvet and he crawls back into bed beside me.

Our chest is completely glued to each other, he puts a leg over my hip, an arm around my back, breath on my neck.  
"I'm not going anywhere."  
I respond by holding him even tighter. Stroke my hand over his shoulder. His warm skin.   
His breath and lips on my neck, light kisses on my chin, on the corner of my mouth, before his lips roam lightly on mine.  
Then he pulls away a bit, as if to say something.  
I take a quick breath and beat him to it.  
“The last few days have been awful! I need to talk about the two of us. Talk about what we think and feel. About us…”  
I swallow nervously in the middle of the sentence but do not intend to coward out now.  
"I'm so stressed out trying to figure it out on my own..."

He puts his hand on my neck and takes a good hold of my hair. Goosebumps spreads at lightning speed throughout my body.  
“I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. There and then, I felt like an idiot who had thought that you and me could become something more. Mikael called me and told me that what that girl said wasn’t true. That you had only been with her once. That you were pissed and despaired over the fact that I believed it. Then you didn't read my messages... and I was scared that... that were done before we even started.”  
He talks into my neck and I feel his words vibrate against my skin.  
Suddenly, nothing is difficult anymore. The all-engulfing waves inside me flatten out and I finally manage to speak out loud what I have hardly dared to think about.

“I've never been so in love with anyone before. Think of you nonstop, around the clock…”  
All the saved up words are pouring out of me.   
I have to push him a bit away before I dare to finish the sentence.  
"... that night at the club, I know I wasn't exactly on my best behavior. And certainly not afterwards either. In the car and…”  
"Quiet…”  
He puts his index finger over my lips.  
“... we’re done with that..."  
Again, the urge to swallow in the middle of the sentence but I can't stop now.  
"I had hoped we could become something more, if you don’t want that... we have to end this..."  
I hear the smile in his voice, though I don't see it in the dark.  
“Of course I want more, Even…”


	21. See you never, bby…

The music is loud, the lights are flashing over the packed dance floor where everybody’s dancing and jumping in between each other, having a blast.

Magnus is out there somewhere. He found a girl and somehow managed to lure her out onto the dance floor with him.

Usually I would be out there too, hooking up with some random dude looking to get laid. 

But… that’s not gonna happen. Not anymore. Not anytime soon. Maybe never. 

Tonight’s a perfect night out. We’re at Evens Club with Even and his crew. Everybody located at one of the big VIP tables having fun. The booze for the night is on the house, and there’s plenty of it and on top of everything I have Even by my side. 

  
  


“Cheeeers” Michael shuts and raises his glass. Everyone raises their drinks and join in shouting.

“Cheeeeeeeers…”

Jonas and Elias have been inseparable all night. They’re both quite drunk and definitely have some kind of bromance going on.

Mutta points to the dance floor.

“Look! Someone’s gonna get laaaaaaid tonight!!!”

Magnus has appeared in the crowd on the dance floor, deep throating the girl he lured out there. It’s truly an ugly sight. Jonas cheers out loud.

“Finally!!! Finally! We all need Mags to get laid. Don’t we, Isak?”

“Ohh yeah. We all need it. Maybe now he’ll leave the poor sofa cushions alone.”

Magnus and the girl appears from the crowd.

  
  


“It definitely pays to party with the owner. I could definitely get used to this. Guys, I’m going home and you both have to sleep elsewhere tonight. I’m just saying! Do. not. come. home!”

Magnus points at Jonas and me, winks at drags the girl with him towards the exit.

“Jonas, you better let your bro do his thing. You can crash at our place tonight” Elias yells trying to outshout the loud music.

I sense Even by my ear before I hear him speak.

“You can crash at my place, handsome,” he whispers and gently bites my earlobe.

The butterflies, which are now present in my stomach everyday and everynight, flutter their wings violently. 

  
  


“I wouldn’t sleep anywhere else.”

Even rests his head on my shoulder, his fingers caressing my lover back in small circles.

“Ahhhh, look at you two… Who would have ever thought, ‘Mr big player’ one and two ending up as the softest couple I town. I fucking love it”

Elias pads Even on the shoulder and continues his conversation with Jonas, Mutta and Mikael.

“So do I,” Even whispers into my ear.

“Ha?”

“I fucking love it too…” his hand grabbing my back tighter.

My heart rate speeds up and I press myself further into his touch.

“Me too… me too.”

  
  


An employe comes up to Mikael and Even. He looks frustrated and tells them something while batting his arms wildly, pointing towards the other side of the club.

Even puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. His touch alone makes the butterflies in my stomach roam wild.

“I have to go fix a problem back there.”

“Okay... I guess… I’ll see you never…”

I smile deviously and wink at him.

“You fucking tease…”

He smiles big and squeezes my hand lightly.

“See you never, Even.”

“See you never, bby…”

Then he kisses my cheek and disappears into the crowd of happy, dancing people.

  
  



	22. Epilog

Day-time is breaking outside. The city streets are slowly coming to life and filling with the usual buzzing from the traffic and the rumbling of the tram.

I must have dosed off, perhaps having caught a few hours of sleep tonight. The rest of the time I've been lying here, basking in the feelings permeating my entire body. Isak is still sound asleep next to me and my entire being is filled with the feeling of how much I enjoy having him here.

Right this moment I'm focusing on lying perfectly still and breathing regularly, trying to make him think I'm still sleeping. I don't want this night to end. Ever. I'm dreading the daytime and the moment he's going to go back home. Every night with Isak is like that for me.

We're spooning and I can feel him stirring. The rythm of his breath changes and he turns around, snuggling against my chest. Our bodies are perfect together. His arm is tight around my waist. It's hot and clammy and absolutely fantastic. I close my eyes, my fingers raking through his curls. I tug on his slightly too long locks as I comb my fingers through them. He moans, pressing his hips against my body, my hand on his ass encouraging him. We're both hard.

"I miss you so fucking much when I'm not with you. I think about you all the time, spending my time just messing around and texting you. "

He's whispering my exact thoughts against my chest. 

His lips find my nipple, slightly biting it. My whole body tingles.

My god, how I love this!

"Maybe we could go get some of your clothes later? That way you could just stay here?"

The suggestion has left my mouth even before I've had the chance to process it. I catch myself holding my breath as I'm waiting for his response. 

"We could do that..."

At first his voice sounds happy, but afterwards he kind of freezes. For several minutes. Not uttering a single word. 

"Isak, if this is all wrong or if you don't want to, we just drop it."

I pull back, trying to catch his eye. I'm afraid I've ruined everything with my suggestion. 

"No, no don't think it's wrong."

He pulls me closer, nuzzling into my neck. I can hear him swallowing. "But I sometimes get really grumpy in the morning and you'll get sick of that. And what if you actually want me to just go home and you can't bring yourself to say so and everything gets fucked up between us. I couldn't deal with that..."

I disconnect my brain. Its soul purpose seems to be further complicating the current situation. I carefully place my hand on his mouth to stop him from speaking, my eyes finding his beautiful green eyes. I assess what I'm feeling right now, my thoughts going back to what I was feeling when I thought Isak and I would never amount to something. My palm slides up to cupping his cheek, my thumb caressing his lower lip. 

"Don't overthink this, baby. Besides, you're not that grumpy in the morning..."

I'm going for a slight joke before turning serious again. "I really want this to last. Every time you spend the night I'm lying here, unable to sleep, dreading the moment you leave. I wish you'd never leave."

The green of his eyes darkens as he kisses me firmly. 

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me."

A smile is spreading on my face as I take the opportunity to make the best suggestion ever. 

"Maybe we could do something about this..." 

My eyes wander down to the duvet between us, "before we get up to eat and get our clothes?"

I lift the duvet, glancing underneath it. 

He laughs out loud. A slight blush reddening his cheeks. 

"So you wanna "do something about this"....?"

He easily flips me over on my back, straddling me. Then he slides down my body, coming to rest in between my legs. He bites his lower lip as his eyes search my body. Lifting his head, his eyes meet mine as he licks a wet trail up my throbbing dick. Finally, his lips find me.

I close my eyes as I'm holding on to his curls, my moans filling the room...

  
  



End file.
